Bad Choices

Why do we knowingly make self-defeating decisions?

Is it the comfort in the disappointment?

That old familiar friend, self-hate

waiting within our ear to whisper,

“Why not? You know you want to. You might as well. You are already thinking it.

So you do.

Acting as though you are more clever than poor choices,

while you make them.

And then afterwards

that same voice hisses,

“You fool. You knew better. Aren’t you smarter than that?”

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Being born and raised in the south should have made me more inbred and less tolerant, but something went wrong in the grand scheme of these damned rebels. I am; brutally honest, a bad driver with a record to prove it, a connoisseur of stand-up comedy, the eldest child, an aware procrastinator, semi-sweet, the result of my mother losing her virginity, easily excitable, a lover of music, a pretty shit liar, late to any event no matter what, myself without apology.

5 thoughts on “Bad Choices”

  1. I often find myself in this position however when I challenge myself whilst I fall I eventually succeed in achieving something new which I think is important. I am following you as I’m sure I will be able to relate to more of your posts.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As a perfectionist, I set unrealistic goals and therefore anticipate failure before I begin the steps. Striving to be perfect is a losing game. Therefore, I veer off the path of positive choices. I don’t even try to take the steps because I become overwhelmed with the amount of work it would take to successfully reach my Unrealistic Goal. THIS IS CALLED AVOIDANCE – for fear of failure. Id rather avoid it all together than run the risk of failing. When I am avoiding positive steps, what am I doing instead? Feeling like an insecure scaredy-cat. This makes me depressed, and anxious about my dim-looking future… so I DISTRACT with Impulsive BAD DECISIONS – “worthless failures” FEEL like they don’t deserve to better themselves, so they FURTHER self-sabotage. Please follow my blog! I will most definitely follow yours!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have never considered myself to be a perfectionist, but the way you speak of anticipating failure rings true. I can very well relate to what you are expressing about the avoidance and distractions. I will definitely be following your blog and can’t wait for what else you have to share. Thank you for taking the time to write. 💘

      Liked by 1 person

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