Too Much

Hindsight is 20/20 and 2020 has been pretty shitty all around, just like my attitude.

This blog is my safe space. It is not for considering your feelings. It is for expressing mine. If my feelings will impact yours, then avert your eyes because I will carelessly puke out a bit of honesty about myself without hesitation all over this page. This is your warning henceforth.

I think I have been drinking too much lately, forever seeking that familiar numbness. See, I fucking love self-sabotage; it is safer than actually trying and then failing.

Self-realization is such a bitch; in addition to being impatient and impulsive, it turns out that I am reactive and petty. When I feel triggered or neglected, I lash out in a negative manner. I look back, usually the next day (sometimes it takes me two days) and feel so ashamed. Then I spiral overthinking about everything that I did and said. Isn’t that so healthy?

Published by

Amber💘

Being born and raised in the south should have made me more inbred and less tolerant, but something went wrong in the grand scheme of these damned rebels. I am; brutally honest, a bad driver with a record to prove it, a connoisseur of stand-up comedy, the eldest child, an aware procrastinator, semi-sweet, the result of my mother losing her virginity, easily excitable, a lover of music, a pretty shit liar, late to any event no matter what, myself without apology.

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