I haven’t been writing because the waves have been crashing hard lately.
I haven’t been here in years.
You can tell by the state of my house: my laundry is piling up, my dishes are unwashed, and my trash needs to be taken out, my floors need to be swept, my homework needs to be done, my shower needs to be scrubbed, my sculptures need to be finished, my sheets need to be washed, my nails need to be painted, my legs need to be shaved, and so on and so forth.
I have been obsessing over the toils of capitalism on our humanity and how fucked up our society remains. I have been thinking of my depleting egg count and how picky I am with partners. I am looking for a feeling that I haven’t felt; a type of connection that I don’t even know exists. I have been questioning the meaning of life and what souls are made of and how to “level up”.
I make bad choices because I feel bad; I feel bad because I make bad choices.