Not Dating Anymore

I’m done.

I’ve had enough.

I’m good. (Not at dating; I’m actually the worst at that 🤪)

I have bad taste in men. I have no idea, up close, what a solid, emotionally stable relationship looks like. I’ve never had one. My mother never had one. My grandmother never had one. I’m trying to break all of these generational curses brought on by teen parenthood, drug abuse, poverty, abandonment issues & trauma passed along from my parents.

This is the one I really can’t master. So I’m going to take some time for therapy and self work.

In dating over the last two years, I have had the following experiences:

-“Homeboy, are you doing hard drugs in my bathroom?” -October

-“Odinism is your belief system, huh? Never heard of that.” **Google gives history referencing white supremacy & Nazi history. -September

-“Wait, how long were you in prison?” -August

“Wait, how long were you in prison?” -September

-“Wait, how long were you in prison?”-September

(yes, three times in a row with longer sentences/time served each time) 😳🙃

-One guy gave me an unprompted, non-consensual foot massage mid-date.

-Another bought me kegel weights before our first date.

-One guy told me that I look hispanic in some of my pictures. I said thank you. He said it wasn’t a compliment.

-One guy said that he didn’t want to date but rather he wanted me to “be a fuckdoll for him and his friends to pass around.”

-One guy said that he “hopes that my pig-ass gets pregnant with a half breed.” when I asked if he supports BLM.

-After a date Christmas shopping last year, one guy stole three pairs of socks and a shirt that I bought from Express for my mother.

-Another told me that I think that i’m smarter and prettier than I actually am.

-Another guy that I was seeing for a couple months told me his kink was for me to ask him to cum in me. He explicitly assured me that he wouldn’t actually do it, he just wanted me to ask. And then he did anyways. 😑

Yeah so I need to take some time for self reflection to make better choices for myself.

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Being born and raised in the south should have made me more inbred and less tolerant, but something went wrong in the grand scheme of these damned rebels. I am; brutally honest, a bad driver with a record to prove it, a connoisseur of stand-up comedy, the eldest child, an aware procrastinator, semi-sweet, the result of my mother losing her virginity, easily excitable, a lover of music, a pretty shit liar, late to any event no matter what, myself without apology.

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