I am not a hooker…

but I had unemotional, quick (aka lame) sex last night and then woke up this morning to $100 bill on my nightstand…

(which may or may not be grocery money from Ty)

well… at least I got paid for my “effort”…


– Am



The Thing About My Lover…

Our love story is far from a fairy tale. But he is still my knight in worn-out denim & steel-toed boots, & always will be. 💕

Tyrell and I started dating three years ago.  Unbeknownst to me at the time, he was a hardcore drug addict.

He stole from me, lied to me and used me for about six months while hiding his addiction. Then we separated for three months (upon my finding out). He begged and pleaded on how he would get sober if I would give him another chance. So I gave in.

When what my mother warned me of finally did happen, I was in over my head. She told me that it would be easier for him to drag me down than it would be for me to lift him up. I was the most miserable that I have ever been following our reconnection. Momma warned me that she had many seedy friends (like I need reminding) but she had never known any as heavy into the crap as he was to come off of it…

It took nine months of him pretending to get sober for me to open my eyes. I was not living the life that I wanted or deserved. I packed my bags and headed 600 miles away to my best friends house in Nashville. I didn’t even bother to tell him that I was leaving because I knew at the time, he was somewhere on the westside of Jacksonville blowing his entire week’s pay on a single day’s high.

I was over 300 miles away on the other side of Atlanta before I told him what my plan was. It was pretty simple… to get away from all the bullshit.

I knew that I did not want drugs to be part of my daily life. He flipped back and forth from angry to remorseful in milliseconds, as drug addicts so often do. Ty had been on opiates for over six years. He was taking up to 300 milligrams of Roxicontin a day if he could get his hands on them. He begged me to come home. I knew that I couldn’t do it anymore.

He called me the next morning once he calmed down and regained his wits. He said that he would check into a rehabilitation center if I would consider giving him another chance. I agreed. I have always loved him and knew that I was not ready to give up.

Ty checked into Promise of Hope in Cochran, GA on May 29, 2014. He attended for 8 weeks.  He has been sober for one year and eight months now, still going strong.

Now that you have heard a lot of negative awful shit about him,

Onto why I love him:

  • He agrees that I am the boss. (probably the most important reason)
  • He knows neat things like the makes, models, body styles, details and engines of most antique cars
  • He thinks I am a genius (I really don’t know why)
  • He can fix anything
  • He totally would cry as much as I do (on the regular) if his tear ducts weren’t broken
  • He reminds me regularly that I am his backbone & driving force behind his sobriety
  • He holds door & still uses worn out phrases like “yes ma’am” or “no sir”
  • He always sees the same shapes in the clouds as I do
  • He remembers the smallest, sweetest details about events and places
  • He is a fantastic storyteller
  • He buys me flowers regularly even though he thinks they are a waste of money
  • He wants to be a good father to his children more than anything
  • He is a momma’s boy and wants her to know it
  • He admits when he is being stubborn (sometimes…)
  • He calls me on my bullshit (also sometimes…)
  • He helps me with the dishes (even less often, but i’ll still give it a “sometimes”…)
  • He works hard and loves even harder



– Am