That is really shitty…

Maybe I am being overly sensitive, but someone shit in the bathroom of my personal office less than five minutes before I arrived back from lunch…

There are only three employees other than myself here today and there are five bathrooms in this office.  Other restrooms (whose offices are not occupied) are vacant for the entire day to air out. But mine was chosen…

And right before I return? So that I can be punched in the face execpectedly on a full stomach? Fucking Yuck.

Advertisements

Could you take that stink elsewhere?

The older I get, the more that I try to purposefully weed out the negativity from my life.

I don’t want to be surrounded with people who droll on about the same issue over and over again and never do anything to alleviate it. I don’t like those who are constantly spewing other people’s business like it’s their own. I can’t stand girls who whine on about how their boyfriend (who has proved over and over again what a bag of shit he is) has been treating her shittily again but she never leaves the fucker..

wah wah wah…

How you react to a situation is everything. Your attitude determines more than your aptitude. (I think I read that on a poster in middle-school somewhere) And bad attitudes can be so infectious. In fact, I have come to a rather brilliant conclusion (if I do say so myself).

A bad attitude is like a large brown fart cloud that continuously follows you around. It is obvious and unpleasant for everyone near.

So tone that shit down. (see what I did there?)

💘xoxo

– Am

 

 

Bust it wide open.

While sitting at the Comedy Zone last night Ty & I overheard this guy say to his friend “Please…it’s a sure thing; I am about to bust this bitch wide open.”

Ty and I look at each other in shock.

“Well he is awfully confident.” I whisper in Ty’s direction.

“Must be on a date with a hooker,” he replies.

It turned out that he was the opening act…and he did in fact bust that bitch wide open. ShaneIsFunny.com <- (This is the guy!)

💘xoxo

– Am

Why I Shouldn’t Drink🍷: Reason #2128397219

So when I checked my bank account earlier this morning, I was confused by a $31.97 charge by mochithings.com…

In the fashion of many drunken nights before, a haze of questions and re-tracking steps occurs.

Then something of a light 💡 bulb came to me…

When I was drinking 🍷 I ordered over $30 of sticky notes in the shape of 🐈 cats.

(palm to forehead)

#Meouch

Hello, my name is Amber & I’m trying to become an alcoholic (but not on purpose).

Let me start out by letting you know that I am going to get way inappropriate in the duration of this blog.

Like way, wayyyy too deep.

Like my sex life, personal problems, political opinions (not really), family issues, and even the stupid, selfish, whiny moments that should not be spoken of will be written down in the context of the internet forever. Because I am an overshare-er, that’s why.

Plus, I am on my second bottle of San Sebastian’s Vintners Red, so that helps. It’s a local wine that is honestly way too sweet to be called a Red wine but it has an 11% alcohol content and the fancy name makes me feel classier about consuming two bottles in their entirety during one sitting.

What a great place to start…

💘xoxo

– Am