How do I know if I am doing this right?

What is the purpose of life?

Is it to be happy? Or to be useful? Is it to love?

I am actually asking you…

Maybe it’s a happy medium somewhere in between? I don’t fucking know.

I struggle with this constantly.

Some people believe that it is to be “comfortable” or well-known or well-liked. Some people think that it is to “spread the gospel” or live a certain way to heed to a certain dogma.

I am none of the above…. but I just can’t figure it out.

It is all so selfish to me.

What I mean is, everything that is good is good because it is good to me, you see? My opinion is the only gauge or moral compass that I have to base it upon. What about what is good to you? We have different opinions and therefore will occasionally disagree. Who is right? It isn’t always the majority… So who is to decide?

Just thinking.


– Am


(Community) College Freshman at 27

I’m actully 26, but have been telling everyone that I am 27 since last October. So just go with it, because I can’t remember not to.

How did I get here and why should you give a shit? Well, how I got here is kind of the point of this blog. So don’t step on my toes just yet. But stay tuned for the many awkward, semi-funny, mostly unimportant, sometimes sad, occasionally brilliant moments of my life, both past and present.

Let us get started with recent happenings and see where it goes…

I moved back to my hometown in Northeast Florida from the great city of Savannah, Georgia about seven months ago. If you haven’t been to the fairy tale that is Savannah, you need to. I am not sure if it’s the amazing cuisine🍝, up-and-coming art scene🎨, public drinking tolerance🍻, live music🎶, or world-class shopping💸 that entices both young, edgy hipsters and retired grandmothers in fanny packs and sun visors. But you need to check it out…

and I am losing my point…

LOOK A SQUIRREL!                                                                                            🐌 Or snail…. whateves.

Anywho- upon my return home, I decided that I no longer wanted to work in “Corporate America”. I no longer had a desire to work in the big city of Jacksonville wearing a pencil skirt and high heels power walking under florescent lights with my file of spreadsheets in tow. I no longer wanted to answer telephones from a headset all day long feeling confined to an office chair. Instead, I took a pay cut and accepted a part-time job three days a week performing payroll for a tire shop and billing for a civil construction company.

Keep in mind that I’ve not taken a single educational class in over 9 years up until this point. Maybe that is the why  I felt ashamed to be a decade older than my classmates once class actually started. I didn’t spend time in the military. I did not have kids at a young age. I did not deal with a longterm illness that I overcame. Nothing. I have no excuses as to why I’ve waited so long, other than I was living. I had a career and it took some time to realize I was not fulfilled (even though it was a wonderful job).

So I finally officially started college last Fall with two classes.

I will not be my own worst enemy and allow the intimidation of something new hold me back from pursuing my goals. I have pressed forward and am now actively working towards my A.A. with a full schedule this semester.

As one of my new classmates quoted last Monday, “Don’t let your dreams become just dreams.


– Am


Hello, my name is Amber & I’m trying to become an alcoholic (but not on purpose).

Let me start out by letting you know that I am going to get way inappropriate in the duration of this blog.

Like way, wayyyy too deep.

Like my sex life, personal problems, political opinions (not really), family issues, and even the stupid, selfish, whiny moments that should not be spoken of will be written down in the context of the internet forever. Because I am an overshare-er, that’s why.

Plus, I am on my second bottle of San Sebastian’s Vintners Red, so that helps. It’s a local wine that is honestly way too sweet to be called a Red wine but it has an 11% alcohol content and the fancy name makes me feel classier about consuming two bottles in their entirety during one sitting.

What a great place to start…


– Am